Personal

I don't usually post personal things on my blog, but my life has been turned upside down.  On January 8th my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  Chemo might buy him some time, but the cancer is terminal and he is not expected to go into remission.

I have been with him at the hospital thanks to so many dear friends who are surrounding us with love, praying, bringing me meals, staying with me during surgeries, and taking care of our dog and cat.

My husband is the love of my life.  He is kind and good, compassionate, smart, funny, strong, and courageous.  He is in pain, but is handling this with strength.  I, on the other hand, am falling apart.  I can not relieve his pain, and I don't know how to help him.

This is torture.  He is right here in the room with me, but I miss him so much.  I don't know how much time we will have together, I just pray that he can have quality time.

I am so sad and so lonely.  He has been the one to help me through so many difficult times, but he can't help me with this one.  I am in so much pain, but I know that my pain is just a fraction of his.

He just turned 48 in December.  Our 7th wedding anniversary will be the 26th of this month.  This is so unfair and cruel.  My heart is broken.